Analyzing ‘You,’ and a romantic serial killer

Imagine seeing somebody you fall in love with at first sight. You think this is it and decide to do anything to pursue that possible "someone." What would you do to obtain that someone’s heart? Would you kill for love?

Well, Joe Goldberg, the protagonist of the Netflix show "You," definitely would. Goldberg, played by actor Penn Badgley, is not your typical hopeless romantic. He comes from a rough past, due to the trauma he holds for accidentally killing his father when Goldberg was a child. While managing a bookstore, he meets Beck, played by actress Elizabeth Lail, and goes to extremes to win her love, and when I say “extremes,” I mean stalking her, following her everyday move, tracking down her friends and her hobbies to relate to her and so much more.

The show premiered last September and is narrated by Goldberg's inner thoughts as he explains how he became obsessed with Beck, eliminating anything that may hurt her or him. And yes, I am talking about murder.

As somebody who seems as he is mentally unstable, he tracks down people within her life that he feels like is a bad influence on her and puts it upon himself to execute anybody who fits in that description in order to keep Beck safe.

When the show initially premiered, I had no interest in watching. However, after my 18-year-old sister begged me to watch some episodes with her, I relented. Upon seeing it, I realized how interesting it really is. Watching Badgley’s character made me question every single person I ever met in regard to showing interest in me romantically.

Watching him, I tend to question myself if anybody in my life has gone to those extremes to win my love. I get scared at the thought of somebody probably tracking me and trying to get into my space without me being aware. Even when I lose things I could have sworn I have put in a specific place, I get scared at the thought that maybe somebody has invaded my personal space and has taken that item to get more insight about me.

Just like many viewers, I too initially thought that Goldberg character a psychopath, a regular serial killer, but therapist Kelly Scott told The Insider, that the opposite is true.

"People use the word 'psychopath' colloquially to describe a person whose behavior defies social norms and conventional understandings of right and wrong," said Scott.

Upon analyzing his character, Scott said Goldberg actually has a narcissistic disorder, which makes him a person who believes he has an inflated sense of self-importance, which makes his character quite interesting as the show goes on.

“The fact that Goldberg comes off as extremely charming from the first time viewers are introduced to him is another reason he could be a narcissist, something that ranges from the full-blown disorder to a personality trait.” Wrote Julia Naftulin, author of the article.

This alone made me understand Goldberg’s personality and why he is the way he is, even though some of his actions confused me after every episode. In the show, Goldberg is nice, caring and very aware of the world, as well as book smart and a go-getter for what he wants to achieve but on the flip side he is strategic, dangerous and manipulative.

In order to obtain what he wants for Beck, he completely inserts himself in every detail about her life. He manipulates her to question her friend’s intentions by making them seem like they do not care for her and he achieves this by twisting their words and inspiring them to do things that seem like they are against Beck. That’s what intrigued me about his character.

I have caught myself forgiving Goldberg for the terrible things he has done even after the research that backs up his psychotic personality. Feeling this way leaves me with many questions such as: "Why am I rooting for a killer? Why do I feel sympathy for a character who can't stop 'accidentally' killing people?"

What makes me feel better in these moments of confusion is the fact that I am not the only one with these questions.

"Mind Body Green," staff writer Sarah Regan wrote an article titled "A Psychologist On Why We Fall For Psychopaths Like Goldberg On 'You,'" to explain more about the Goldberg character.

Regan considered those questions and decided to get some insight from some experts. Psychologist Perpetua Neo told Regan, the reason we feel empathy for Goldberg is because of the way we are compelled to understand why Goldberg is the way that he is. Neo described this as giving Goldberg the benefit of the doubt, due to the way he narrates the story and how that story triggers our love for redemption.

To Neo, Goldberg’s behavior could seem as romantic for viewers. Romantic movies have taught us how the perfect boyfriend looks like and the perfect boyfriend to many viewers looks like Goldberg due to how he immersed himself into the relationship he is perusing.

Goldberg is an amazing boyfriend, the perfect guy. I am a total sucker for romance, specifically the ones I see on TV, and that is exactly what drove me to have empathy for Goldberg, because of his unique way of knowing how to make a woman trust him. In the show he supports Beck, makes her breakfast, makes sure she is always okay and inspires her to be her best self and to do whatever makes her happy.

Even with the success of the show, the explanations from many mental health experts and the many feelings viewers have against the character, Badgley himself joined in on the conversation to give us his perspective on why Goldberg impacted fans the way he did. For example, In Rotten Tomatoes, Rosie Fletcher from Den of Geek, thought that the show was:

“A twisty psychological chiller that plays with perceptions of who the heroes and villains are, and comes with plenty of moral dilemmas.”

Badgley told E! News: "Part of the strangeness of the concept for me is exactly why we're all watching: Why are we making it? Why is it doing so well? These are interesting questions that have something to do with where we are all at, societally."

Badgley recognizes the controversy around his character but also knows Goldberg is a man who has many positive attributes. He describes Goldberg as the "exact perfect balance between chivalrous and allowing his partner to be autonomous and empowered."

Badgley’s explanation of his character was the reasoning behind why I have connected with his character after being so confused about how to feel about him. Digging more into the show I did have a lot of sympathy for Goldberg but also kept in mind that his attitude and actions are extremely problematic and toxic.

The experience of watching a show that lets me inside a serial killer’s mind while he shows a toxic behavior to pursue a relationship while also making me question whether or not he is a good person is something I never thought a program would do.

“You” is a great show because it is unlike others and is unpredictable. It takes you by surprise and makes you wonder how such a sweet person can have such an evil mentality. This may not be the show for everyone but it was one for me and now I know to be careful of a nice smile, unrealistic romantic attention and men who have no friends but still manages to be a “people person.”